Just leave it alone haha. ‘Alright then’ he replied as we were back to minding our own business. I have no real recollection of what I learned that day in class. All that was going on in my mind was that I was sitting in a room with lots of people wearing girls underwear and hoping nobody would notice that. Luckily nobody did. As the school bell rang and everyone was getting out, I walked out with confidence.I actually managed to go to school in a thong for an entire day, (almost haha) nobody noticed, and I felt really good in it. Then it was crystal clear. I was going to to this more often. Maybe even every day. Should I never wear my male boxers ever again? I could always carry a boxer short with me and change in the bathrooms if I was getting afraid. As I took the bus back home my mind was putting all those pieces together. I could hardly wait to put on the stockings too. ‘Why not’ I thought. Nobody noticed this then they won’t see stockings under my pants either right?There were. "Are you hung over again?" my mother asked."God, I just wanted a bottle of water," I said, a little more snippy thanI should have. I took a sip, and then apologized to my mother."I'm sorry," I said."For what?" she asked, as if she was completely caught off guard by meapologizing for anything."For snapping at you just now," I said.She just looked at me, with that look that mothers give you when theyknow you're not telling them everything, but they also know you won'ttell them if they ask. And dammit if that look didn't work every time. Ihad to remember it if I ever got back to being Alana, so I could use iton my future child."I guess," I continued, "for not being more supportive, more helpful,while you're going through a tough time. I mean, it's not like I shouldbe picking sides between you and dad..." I'd never ask you to do that," she interjected."I know," I said, "but it doesn't have to be just about picking sides. Imean, I'm 25. I should be living my own life. But here I am still.
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